


An Open Letter To My Sister

by gatonip



Series: Open Letters [2]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 22:03:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10706040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gatonip/pseuds/gatonip
Summary: To my twin, whom I never thought I'd forget.





	An Open Letter To My Sister

**Author's Note:**

> Technically you can read these letters in any order but I wrote [Lup's letter first.](http://archiveofourown.org/works/10705959) It's your call
> 
> EDIT: Due to recent events there's a bit of a continuity error in Taako's letter but I don't feel right rewriting it, so take this as a time capsule from before the finale

I don’t think I ever really needed to tell you that I wasn’t some straight-laced dude. It wasn’t something I consciously thought about for a really long time; it was just something I always was, and then one day found out there was a word for it. Hell, if I didn’t go flirting with the best looking guy in every town we passed that I could find, you probably wouldn’t even have realized. Not that it really mattered in the end: your pool of pickings was always going to be exponentially larger than mine anyway.

…gonna be real with you here, it’s a little weird to be talking to an umbrella? Specifically talking about how fuckin’ gay we are to an umbrella. Thinking of you as an umbrella is ten times weirder than that. 

Everything’s been coming back to me a little more steadily. Like, everything major, the actual building blocks, that all crashed in relatively quickly. The tinier details are still trickling in though. I remember the first planar system we visited, but the animal language is still a bit shaky. We had plenty of conversations in it but I’m having a hard time remembering some of the contractions? I don’t know how to conjugate some verbs anymore. I don’t actually care about forgetting the language, really. It’s just…we learned it _together_. We spent so many hours with Barry trying to decipher that mess. You and I used to gossip about the others right in front of them, that was a blast. I guess we could have done the same thing in elvish, but Maggie’s fluent and Lucretia’s got endless word knowledge, there’s no way she wouldn’t know it. Besides, Barry’s fuckin’ face when we’d say something about his flat ass even though we knew he’d understand what we were saying was hysterical.

Shit like that is what I’m getting hung up on the most. Losing a hundred years of my life sucks, but watching planar systems and everyone in them get vored by the Hunger, I can do without remembering. What I’m really frustrated about is losing all that emotional bullshit progress. I didn’t trust anyone but you for so long, and you didn’t seem to trust anyone but me, either. And then suddenly we had coworkers that turned into friends, and now I can’t imagine losing the boys. Don’t get jealous, you’re still top tier, but I never thought I’d get to have more than one tier to begin with. And look at you, your cute vomit-inducing trifecta with ol’ Barrold and Lucy. …we used to call her Lucy. That just came back to me. Would it be weird if I start calling her that? I feel like I can’t really go back to calling her ‘the Director’ ever again, but is ‘Lucy’ too much too soon? Why do I care? Why is it so weird to care again?

Listen, I don’t even know where I stand on her right now, if this is Honesty Hour here. This second Voidfish shit doesn’t sit right with me. I get what she was going for, and hell if I can think up a better solution right now than what she did on the fly, I can’t slight her for that. But I mean…she took everything from us. I lost all of my friends. I went through hell for nearly a decade before Merle, Magnus, and I met up again. For fuck’s sake, I forgot you existed!

I forgot my own damn twin sister. And I don’t know if I can ever forgive her for that. We’ll let bygones be bygones, eventually; we’ll play nice for the cameras. But I really don’t think I can ever let this go.

Shit. I didn’t expect to get all feely. Just…those years without everyone, without you…they really fucked me over. I remember now, what it’s like being genuinely cared about, what it’s like caring about other people. But I went so long without that. And getting to know Mags and Merle again, I’m realizing it’s such a tiny fraction of what we had before things went south. I’ve barely opened up to either of them. I haven’t told them where I was before we met up in that shady bar about a year ago. I don’t even know if they’ve ever seen Sizzle It Up. …gods, that whole fiasco would have gone down so differently if it’d been you with me. Our own caravan, one of those big fancy ones, all decked out. Sizzle It Up with Taako and Lup. I still get top billing, doll. It was my idea.

…I miss the hell out of you.

There’s so much I want to tell you about. Like, Killian and Carey? You guys would get along so well, they’re so badass and a million times more competent than our sorry reclaimer asses. And Kravitz, he’s, wow dude, I don’t know how but I think I might have hit the jackpot? I know I’ve said commitment and serious relationships were overrated and everything, but I think if he wanted something like that for us, I’d actually…be down for that. Also you’d _flip_ over his whole look, I know how you appreciate a good suit. And, and Angus. You’ve gotta see this kid Lup, he’s so fuckin’ smart, I feel like he’s Lucy but if she was a little fancy boy. He’s like 6 and running circles around me and everyone else on this base. I’ve been teaching him some basic can trips and he picks up on them so fast, and he sees through my bullshit way too well. It’s infuriating, he’s such an empathetic piece of shit and I can’t stand him. And I trust him with my life.

I guess maybe a little bit of good came out of this whole disaster. I was making some progress in getting back to caring about people again, it was slow going but it was something. It just…it wasn’t fair that we had to lose everything before now to get here. I would have done anything to have you there with me this whole time.

We’re going to figure out a way to get you out of there. I don’t know how just yet, but we’ll think of something. We’re all together now. Between Barry’s nerd-ass science and Lucy’s records on everything and, hell, Ango’s probably got something up his sleeve as always, we’re bound to find a loophole. 

Gonna make an executive decision that that’s spelled LUP-hole just to piss you off.

Also fair warning, Barrold and Lucy can wait their fuckin’ turn, I’m calling dibs on the first reunion hug. I’ll absolutely waste whatever spell slots I have left on them if they try to cut in line. They can go suck it.

I’m gonna see you again real soon, Lup. Just you wait.

I love you.

…holy shit wait a minute, that was you back outside Barry’s cave, wasn’t it! When I put on the damn bracelet. Fuck, maybe I can hear you again, hang on a second!


End file.
